5 October 2015

Dear Gran

Hi Gran!

You know I don't normally do all the soppy mushy stuff but can you believe it's been 9 years since you were taken from us!! I write it morbidly on the calendar every year (as you do) and had to do a double take this year. I just can't believe it's been that long. It feels like only yesterday when all the drama unfolded and you suddenly slipped away, the night before your holiday too damn. You were in the middle of redecorating your hall in the house as well and you never even got to see it finished.

I missed your last and final birthday on this Earth before that fateful night, how was I to know it would be your last? But I'll never forgive myself for it now, so young and so stupid. I'm sorry I didn't make it over. It wasn't intentional but things happened and you know... I still remember the phone call, rushing through to see you, family waiting at the doors. It all seemed surreal, like it was part of a film. How could this be happening? Why in hell was this happening to a person who was so kind and gentle!? The world seems to work in mysterious ways and who am I to question it?

Having you in my life was fantastic, you were like a second mum to all of us gran kids. Always there when we needed you always in waiting for us with a cup of tea and homemade cakes or the amazing toast you made. It kills me that Logan and Harlow will never get to experience this, that you were taken before they were born. You would have been the best great granny out there.

Everyone misses you. There's not a day goes past where not one of us thinks about you. Why did it have to happen when you were so young!? I guess that's life though, never knowing what's going to happen round the corner. It's fair to say that Di misses you the most, he's lost without you and I can't blame him. Things just aren't the same anymore, it feels different now. I feel so guilty for not visiting much but it's painful. Everything reminds me of you, you're everywhere. I know I need to make more of an effort though, it's only fair.

I wish things hadn't happened the way they did, I wish you were still here with us, I wish everything was back to the way it was but these are only wishes and I know what's done it done... I miss you.

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

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1 comments on "Dear Gran"

Unknown on 6 October 2015 at 19:53 said...

What a lovely post, such sweet words your gran would be proud! :)

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